God has the best sense of humor! Here I am. The woman who thought she'd never be able to experience pregnancy, who forced herself (and her poor husband) through years of fertility treatments to no avail...pregnant....AGAIN! This is a huge surprise. Although I guess it shouldn't be. We thought Evelyn and Little Dude were one time miracles. Little Dude for sure. This is now my third pregnancy. Apparently the fertility doctors were really wrong.
I noticed a few symptoms over a couple days but I was so sure it was something else. A cold...something. Then on October 13th (exactly one month after LD's first birthday) I couldn't get it out of my head that I should take a pregnancy test. After I put the kids down for their afternoon naps, I dug through the very back of the bathroom cabinets and finally found the other test from the box I bought last go-round. I double checked the expiration date and a few minutes later there were those two pink lines. Pretty sure I sat there, in my bathroom, in total shock for at least fifteen minutes just staring at the test.
After the kids woke up I didn't have much time to dwell on the fact that I am pregnant. A fact I suspect will be a theme until I actually go into labor.. I did have enough time though to decide I wanted Squeaks to "tell" Josh. She's only two (three in January!!) so she doesn't really understand, but I thought it would be sweet, and maybe lighten the blow a bit for Josh. Ha!
Once Josh was home I waited for him to go to our bedroom and I pulled Squeaks aside. I handed her the positive pregnancy test, taped closed in case she decided to have a "hey-what's-this!?" moment, and told her to take it to daddy and yell "surprise!". She loves surprises so her face lit up and she immediately ran toward the bedroom. I had to run to keep up with her so I could see his face. I kind of wish I had filmed it. Priceless. He couldn't stop saying "you're joking, right?!" I had to tell him at least three times it was real.
The shock dissipated ever so slightly and we both reassured the other that we were excited and happy, then immediately started discussing things like where he or she will sleep since we're out of bedrooms. We're probably going to have to get a new car. A third car seat just won't fit in our current car (that we bought when we were expecting LD. Ugh!). Then we both realized we will get to tell our families at Thanksgiving! On Evelyn's birthday!! I. Can. NOT. Wait!!! (Wrote this awhile ago. We told family yesterday! It was awesome. Post coming soon.)
While this is unexpected to say the least, it was by no means a mistake. Unplanned, for sure, but 100% meant to be. Every child is a gift from God! It totally blows me away that He is giving me another turn. Another blessing. Another life. I am so blessed!!
Over the next nine months, I would appreciate your prayers. Evelyn left uncertainty and fear burned into me, along with gratitude and love of course, but fear is winning right now. I don't want fear to win. I started my pregnancy with Little Dude determined to celebrate and enjoy every moment and this time will be no different. Pray for strength, wisdom, and peace. Let's do this!
|Can't wait to meet our little tiebreaker!|