Friday, November 25, 2016

"Look what I can do!" -God


God has the best sense of humor! Here I am. The woman who thought she'd never be able to experience pregnancy, who forced herself (and her poor husband) through years of fertility treatments to no avail...pregnant....AGAIN! This is a huge surprise. Although I guess it shouldn't be. We thought Evelyn and Little Dude were one time miracles. Little Dude for sure. This is now my third pregnancy. Apparently the fertility doctors were really wrong.

I noticed a few symptoms over a couple days but I was so sure it was something else. A cold...something. Then on October 13th (exactly one month after LD's first birthday) I couldn't get it out of my head that I should take a pregnancy test. After I put the kids down for their afternoon naps, I dug through the very back of the bathroom cabinets and finally found the other test from the box I bought last go-round. I double checked the expiration date and a few minutes later there were those two pink lines. Pretty sure I sat there, in my bathroom, in total shock for at least fifteen minutes just staring at the test. 

After the kids woke up I didn't have much time to dwell on the fact that I am pregnant. A fact I suspect will be a theme until I actually go into labor.. I did have enough time though to decide I wanted Squeaks to "tell" Josh. She's only two (three in January!!) so she doesn't really understand, but I thought it would be sweet, and maybe lighten the blow a bit for Josh. Ha!

Once Josh was home I waited for him to go to our bedroom and I pulled Squeaks aside. I handed her the positive pregnancy test, taped closed in case she decided to have a "hey-what's-this!?" moment, and told her to take it to daddy and yell "surprise!". She loves surprises so her face lit up and she immediately ran toward the bedroom. I had to run to keep up with her so I could see his face. I kind of wish I had filmed it. Priceless. He couldn't stop saying "you're joking, right?!" I had to tell him at least three times it was real. 

The shock dissipated ever so slightly and we both reassured the other that we were excited and happy, then immediately started discussing things like where he or she will sleep since we're out of bedrooms. We're probably going to have to get a new car. A third car seat just won't fit in our current car (that we bought when we were expecting LD. Ugh!). Then we both realized we will get to tell our families at Thanksgiving! On Evelyn's birthday!! I. Can. NOT. Wait!!! (Wrote this awhile ago. We told family yesterday! It was awesome. Post coming soon.)

While this is unexpected to say the least, it was by no means a mistake. Unplanned, for sure, but 100% meant to be. Every child is a gift from God! It totally blows me away that He is giving me another turn. Another blessing. Another life. I am so blessed!!

Over the next nine months, I would appreciate your prayers. Evelyn left uncertainty and fear burned into me, along with gratitude and love of course, but fear is winning right now. I don't want fear to win. I started my pregnancy with Little Dude determined to celebrate and enjoy every moment and this time will be no different. Pray for strength, wisdom, and peace. Let's do this!
Can't wait to meet our little tiebreaker!

Wednesday, November 2, 2016

Halloween 2016


Technical difficulties have kept me from posting the past week or so (technology hates me). For some reason uploading pictures just wouldn't happen. Well, I found a way around it. I had to email myself the photos for this post. Ha! Take that computer! 

Anyway...Halloween! It's never been my favorite holiday. It's my least favorite in fact. Not a fan of scary movies, spiders, bats, pumpkin-flavored-anything. But, having kids sure adds a fun element to it. 

Squeaks was a butterfly and Little Dude was a dinosaur. Both ridiculously cute. Halloween morning we joined some friends at a local retirement home for a toddler table-side trick or treat. We did this last year and it has been such a fun experience watching the kids with the older residents. The kids make their way around a long table collecting candy from each person. It's fun to watch how happy it makes all those involved. We don't give the kids sugar though so Squeaks enjoyed a granola bar while the other kids had some cookies. Since she doesn't even know what candy is and we call cookies "nasty pods" (half joke, half not), she didn't complain at all and was quite happy with her granola bar.

Later that evening we walked down to our church's harvest festival. Squeaks is old enough now that she understands how to play the games and she really loved the petting zoo and pony rides. This was her first pony ride in fact. Little Dude just couldn't stand staying in the stroller so we let him loose and he had a blast exploring with me following close behind him. He's getting pretty fast!

All-in-all a fun day! 
My sweet little trick-or-treaters! Squeaks ran around our living room pretending to flap her wings. Little Dude looked so cute in his little dino suit (inherited from a friend who outgrew it). Do you recognize Squeaks' monster feet? LD borrowd them for the day.
Two left photos: Squeaks collecting candy. Top right: Enjoying hr granola bar "treat". Middle right: Little Dude exploring and being cute. Bottom right: All the kiddos so cute in their costumes.
  Look how happy she is!! Such a sweet girl. I'd totally buy her a pony if I could. The face!

Wednesday, October 12, 2016

Love Well


This past week a little girl  passed away. 

She was not a victim of a hate crime, gun violence, drug abuse, a drunk driver, or any other human action. She was a victim of a broken world. She passed away from a brain aneurysm. She was ten years old.

I do not know her family apart from the fact that I remember watching her dad on stage at our church when he was the worship minister. I only know of her passing because her dad and I have multiple Facebook friends in common. When his daughter was admitted to the hospital he took to Facebook to ask for prayer. He asked friends and family to show support for his daughter by filling the news feed with green hearts, her favorite color. Many of my friends shared his posts and I prayed along with countless others.

As I read his prayer request I could feel his strength and sadness. There were updates following that first post, and finally, the news that she was in the arms of her Heavenly Father. I cried, for a little girl I have never met, and a family I barely know. I wanted to run to my sleeping children, scoop them up, and never let them go.

As someone who has lost a child, I know there is no consolation, no phrase, act, or earthly gift that can heel that pain. Time fades it, but there is no cure until we are reunited in heaven. Because my daughter was stillborn, I know I can not even begin to comprehend the pain of loosing a grown child. 

With full knowledge of no good way to completely console this family, I would still like to say thank you. Thank you for renewing my hatred of my sin and my pursuit of Christ-like love. This little girls passing should have never happened. We live in a world plagued by imperfection as a result of sin. Our only saving grace is our salvation through Christ.

Romans 12:9
"Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good."

There are so many opportunities for hate in our world. Hatred of different nationalities, genders, social classes...the list is endless. We fight against the products of sin, but forget the cause. We are fallen and in need of Christ's love. Are guns an issue, or the hearts of their wielders? Would addiction kill so many if they were bathed in love by God's church? Hate crimes?...Inconceivable through the eyes of Christ's love.

1 Corinthians 15:57
"But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ."

The next time you find yourself angry about crime, drug abuse, abortion,  and/or the world in general remember the root. Sin. Fight against sin. Fight to love. These are important topics, worthy of action. Take action with a heart of love. Fight knowing the ultimate outcome! God always wins!

1 John 4:19
"We love, because He first loved us."

The little girl no longer needs our prayers. She dances with her King. I on the other hand, will take all the prayer I can get. Pray that I love well. Pray that Christs church loves well. 


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