I'm still here. I promise, blogging is still a big love for me. Life is just going very fast right now.
I am 37 weeks pregnant with our little dude. If you haven't been following my pregnancy blog, I've been going to three or four doctor appointments per week. Even though little dude is healthy and growing well, I'm still considered a "high risk" pregnancy on paper because of Evelyn. I go to two non-stress tests a week, an O.B. appointment once a week, and I've had multiple ultrasounds mixed in as well. Needless to say it's taken up a lot of time. Throw in trying to soak up as much Squeaks time and attention as possible before she's no longer an only child, and I'm a very busy momma.
It's still crazy surreal that I'm pregnant. Although I obviously have never experienced adoption from a birth mother's point of view, it's my understanding that a large fear for her would be an adoptive mother who doesn't love her adopted child as much as her biological child. This is a big reason a lot of birth mothers choose families without any biological children. They want their child to be put first. Again, this is all coming from things I've read/heard. Well, I'm here to say Squeaks' birth mom has nothing to worry about. Not only do I sometimes forget I didn't give birth to Squeaks, but I'm also slightly concerned my biological child can't come close to being as awesome as she is. As with all second time moms, I wonder how my heart can expand for another child. My blond/blue eyed self and my blond/blue eyed husband could never have created this cuddly, calm, chocolate-eyed, curly-headed brunette. That said, she is also the only child I can imagine having. She was so obviously meant for us. The idea of physically producing a child that will be biologically part of me feels foreign still. I'm not concerned about loving him AT ALL....it's just all very surreal.
With my due date approaching and life being its ever busy self, I'll be taking a little blogging break. For memory sake I'll still be posting on my pregnancy blog, but some weeks I don't even get to that. When I return to Adoption Love, I'm planning some changes. As I mentioned before, I think a family blog will be more the theme instead of an adoption specific blog. After experiencing adoption and (soon to be) birth, "family" is on my heart and adoption does not define us. The future holds sibling bonding, family vacations, homeschooling, and beyond. Plus, I'm sure God has a few surprises for us too.